The Moon is Made of Cheese

As a child I was first made aware by my older siblings that the moon when looked at with a telescope resembled cheese. All around its surface were holes which looked a lot like Swiss cheese. My imagination ran wild the first time I saw it. Wow, wow! Wow, wow, wow! All that cheese just sitting there. I love cheese, and the thought of just walking along and picking up cheese anytime was a very ‘heavenly’ thought. 

        Cheese was expensive in the 60’s and as a child, we did not get too much cheese due to that fact. We ate what we could afford in our house. If a block of cheese appeared in the fridge no one touched it, it was there only for the recipe which my mom would make that week. Never can I remember as a child just cutting a piece of cheese from the block and eating it. No way Jose, you could get disciplined for that.

         My school days taught me that the moon was not made of cheese. Those cheesy looking holes were just craters carved by asteroid impacts. What a downer this was. Those early school days also brought new info about many topics. I was very interested in the sciences. Everything science related was my real thirst. Math was not interesting, writing was often tedious, government was so-so. I read the science books and magazines, anything science was wonderful.

          I was amazed to learn that I had come from a monkey, and even earlier from a single-celled creature. This conflicted with my parent’s religious training in church, but my teachers were smarter than my parents, weren’t they?? Darwin intrigued me, and “The Origin of Species” was magic to me. I sucked it in like a sponge. Finally I had realized where I really came from. There wasn’t anything mystical or ‘Godsome’ involved in it at all. I am the result of time, change and evolutionary processes. I was not created by some lofty spiritual force in the heavens after all. Shame on you mom and dad! If you knew this why did you hide it behind this religion and God myth?

          No, my parents could not be trusted in these more complex issues anymore. I would trust my teachers; they were the ones with true wisdom based on fact, not fiction. I held this conviction for many years, confident and assured by scientific fact about my origins.

            Something deep in my mind always plagued me about Darwin’s writings. Did I imagine it? Did he say that if his “theory” was correct that in the future, innumerable transitional remains would be found? Yes he did say that, didn’t he? There are fish, there are vertebrates and invertebrates, plants, insects and all kinds of animals including dinosaurs which have bones made up of the same material man is composed of. All things fully formed, recognizable, not in-betweens who will someday assume form, they already are.

             How can this be? How can not one solid example be named, when they should be in everyone’s garden or study like plant fossils are. Plants! Such a fragile structure! No bones or cartilage or anything durable like a human skeleton. How disappointed I was to see every supposed proof be nothing but frauds.

             It’s 2017, 158 years after the original publication of “The Origin of Species” and yet, not one of these transitional species from single cell to man has been uncovered. Yes, countless numbers of examples of plants and animals have been found in the millions upon millions of archeological digs performed by men and women hoping to be the one. Which one?

The one who kills God for good.

The one who puts an end to this God myth with physical evidence of Darwin’s truth.

The one whose name will be remembered forever.

          And so they dig. They are still digging as you read this. Are you digging? Looking for proof of your beginnings? Look no further than that big cheesy moon. It really is made of cheese you know. And oh yeah, you really did come from an ape. One of the strongest proofs I can think of to support this belief is that anyone could believe this in the first place.

           Mr. Darwin, thank you for your interesting book, but mostly Mr. Darwin, thank you for your words, your own self fulfilling prophesy which proves the origin part of your hypothesis of beginning is simply mooncheese.

 

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